Terrance's essay does a good job balancing humor with substance. The opening paragraph presents an entertaining vignette in which he chooses to study music based on nothing more than peer pressure. By paragraph three, we learn how that rather serendipitous introduction to music has led to something very meaningful. The final paragraph also establishes a pleasing tone with its emphasis on music as a "unifying force" and something that Terrance wants to share with others.
He comes across as a passionate and generous person who will contribute to the campus community in a meaningful way. Unlike the California State University system , the University of California schools have a holistic admissions process. The admissions officers are evaluating you as a whole person, not just as numerical data related to test scores and grades although both are important. The Personal Insight questions are one of the primary ways the admissions officers get to know you, your personality, and your interests.
Think of each essay as an independent entity, as well as one piece of a four-essay application. Each essay should present an engaging narrative that reveals an important aspect of your life as well as explain why the topic you've chosen is important to you.
College Admissions Essays
When you consider all four essays in combination, they should work together to reveal the true breadth and depth of your character and interests. Share Flipboard Email. Allen Grove is an Alfred University English professor and a college admissions expert with 20 years of experience helping students transition to college. Updated March 14, Here is her essay:. When I was about seven or eight, my sister got dumped by her boyfriend unexpectedly.
She was feeling really down about it, and I was trying to think of something I could do that would cheer her up. So I drew a pretty bad likeness of her ex, made better by some rather unflattering details. It made my sister laugh, and I like to think I helped her through her break-up, even if only a little bit. Cartooning is a way for me to be creative and express myself. Here is his essay:. The fourth graders put on this show every year, each one focusing on something different. Our show was about food and making healthy choices. We could pick which group to be in: dancing, stage design, writing, or music.
I chose music, not because I was interested in it the most, but because my best friend had picked it. I remember the music director showing us a long row of various percussion instruments, and asking us what we thought different foods would sound like.
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This was not my first experience in playing an instrument, but I was a novice when it came to creating music, deciding what the music meant, and what its intent and meaning was. In middle school, I joined the orchestra, taking up the cello. Freshmen year of high school, I auditioned for, and was accepted into, the regional youth symphony. More importantly, though, I took two semesters of Music Theory my sophomore year. Since my high school only offers Music Theory I and II, I attended a summer music camp with a program in theory and composition.
I find writing music is a way for me to express emotions and tell stories that are beyond language. Music has been such a large part of my life—from fourth grade and on—and studying music and music composition is a way for me to create something beautiful and share it with others. Continue Reading. Just as every sentence in English has a meaning and purpose, every line of code invokes a function.
Instead of communicating with people, coding is essentially having a conversation with computers, directing them onto what is desired. Just as an artist expresses imagination with a pen, a programmer uses a keyboard. Aside from being just a program, websites bring people closer together. Because Singapore is incredibly small, in order for my school to challenge its athletes, we have to go overseas to play against other schools.
The only issue with this is how expensive it is to travel, resulting in the teams flying without family or friends. Competitors often feel alone and unwelcome in the foreign school. A website was the perfect solution for this: after much planning and deliberation, I formed a team to make a site where parents and friends could encourage their athletes!
We started with brainstorming how to avoid cluttering the website and how best to keep it simple whilst connecting people together. Using flowcharts and diagrams, I used design principles to make it visually pleasing whilst maintaining structure and foundation. Focusing on supporting the athletes, guests were able to leave comments, get live scoring, and videos of the games.
The site allows parents and friends to encourage their students during some of the most significant tournaments of their high school careers. Creativity serves many functions, and mine intends to bring people closer together. Work with my friends at Prompt. As the preceding caucus wraps up, young delegates dressed in their most chic outfits hey, it's not called MODEL United Nations for nothing scurry to get one more signatory to support their resolution.
For my first conference, I signed up to represent Russia in the General Assembly. Being the naive yet ambitious freshman that I was, I thought it a great honor to represent one of the Permanent Five. According to feedback from my chair, I was overly democratic and too accommodating and with due cause, I sponsored a resolution with Ukraine , to an extent that it hurt my performance. I broke away from the connotation of another tourist destination to voice some of this country's biggest challenges as well as successes, particularly towards climate change.
I had not blatantly followed the 'power delegate', but stood my ground and made a powerful coalition with numerous other SIDS to become a resolution bloc, embodying the primary value my mentor, Senator Steve Glazer, impressed upon us as interns: "Represent the people of your district, not political parties or special interests". Creativity is finding the peripheral introverted delegates and persuading them to add numbers to your cause. Creativity is navigating around the complexities of a capitalistic society designed to benefit only the top percentile in industrialized countries.
Creativity is diplomacy, an art of itself. The ability to build bridges and forge new alliances in the wake of greed and power believe me, the high school MUN circuit is equally, if not more, cutthroat than the real political arena is a skill needed for the ever-complicated future. MUN has taught me the practice of rhetoric and the relevance of ethos, pathos, and logos. I have learnt to listen to opposing viewpoints, a rare skill in my primarily liberal high school. I see MUN as a theatre production, where success is determined by how well you, in essence, become and portray your country to an audience of the world i.
With a blackened Q-tip, I gave him eyelids and pupils and smoothed the rough edges of his face. I used an eraser to shave down the sharpness of his jaw and add highlights to his skin. After scrutinizing the proportions, I smiled at the finished pencil portrait. Kim Jong-dae was now ready to be wrapped as the perfect present for my friend.
But being an artist comes with its own social expectations. On the bright side, being an artist has taught me to take risks and experiment with new techniques and media.
Most of all, art has made me a more empathetic human. In drawing a person, I live in their shoes for a moment and try to understand them. I take note of the little idiosyncrasies. I let the details--a hijab, a piercing on a nose, a scar on the chin--tell me their personality, their thoughts, their worldview. I recognize the shared features that make us human and appreciate the differences in culture and values that make us unique.
Freshman year, I fell in love with the smell of formaldehyde for its promise of an especially exciting day in Biology. By junior year, I still had almost no idea what I would do in the future. Naturally, I applied in a blink, and somehow even got accepted. When I started the program, I never expected to become so enamored with computer science. Every day, I took pages of notes during the class lecture, then enthusiastically attacked the homework problems during the evening. In fact, most nights I stayed late in the computer lab trying to finish just one more optional challenge problem or add more features to already completed programs.
One of my favorite programs was a Hangman game that made sarcastic remarks at invalid inputs. However, some programs were notoriously difficult, sparking countless frustrated jokes among the candidates: a version of the card game War overly prone to infinite loops, a queue class apparently comprised entirely of index errors.
The sign-up list for TA help overflowed with increasing frequency as the curriculum grew more difficult. So, after I finished a program, I often helped my peers with debugging by pointing out syntax errors and logical missteps. In the final week, I was chosen to be a presenter for CS at the Final Dinner, speaking about the subject I loved to program donors and peers alike.
In that amazing month, I discovered a field that blends creativity with logic and a renewed passion for learning and exploration. Now, imagining my no-longer-nebulous future brings excitement. And somehow, that excitement always smells faintly of formaldehyde. Knowing visual acuity is important because it helps diagnose vision problems.
But the challenge? Usually people have to go into eye doctors and get an eye test to determine their acuity. My goal is to configure this into a mobile app so that it's easy for someone to determine if he or she needs glasses. I hope to continue using my programming skills to make the benefits of research more accessible. The skills, experience, and network I will build at the computer science department will help me devise solutions to problems and bring the benefits of research to the public. Nine times out of ten, this is picked as the lie. I spent my primary education years in Bangalore, India.
The Indian education system emphasizes skills like handwriting and mental math. I learnt how to memorize and understand masses of information in one sitting. This method is rote in comparison to critical thinking, but has encouraged me to look beyond classroom walls, learning about the rivers of Eastern Europe and the history of mathematics. Aside from using Oxford Dictionary spellings and the metric system, I found little to no similarities between British and Indian curricula.
I found these elements to be an enhancing supplement to textbooks and notes. Nevertheless, the elementary level of study frustrated me. I was prevented from advancing in areas I showed aptitude for, leading to a lack of enthusiasm. I was ashamed and tired of being the only one to raise my hand.
How to Write a Creative Essay: Super Creative Guide for A+ Result
Suddenly, striving for success had negative connotations. Three years later, I began high school in Oakland, California. US education seemed to have the perfect balance between creative thinking, core subjects and achievement. However, it does have its share of fallacies in comparison to my experience in other systems. I find that my classmates rarely learn details about cultures outside of these borders until very late in their career.
The emphasis on multiple choice testing and the weight of letter grades has deterred curiosity. In only seventeen years, I have had the opportunity to experience three very different educational systems. Each has shaped me into a global citizen and prepared me for a world whose borders are growing extremely defined. My perspective in living amongst different cultures has provided me with insight on how to understand various opinions and thus form a comprehensive plan to reach resolution. In 10th and 11th grade, I explored the world of China with my classmates through feasts of mapo tofu, folk games and calligraphy.
As I developed a familial bond with my classmates and teacher, the class became a chance to discover myself. As a result, I was inspired to take AP Chinese. So I took matters into my own hands. I emailed all the advisors I could find within a fifty-mile radius. I asked myself: Why was I trying so hard to take an AP test? I wanted to buy vegetables from the lady at the market and not be known as a visitor. I wanted to connect. At am on April 19, I got my yes.
Basic Characteristics of Creative Nonfiction Essays
Language is not just a form of communication for me. Through, Chinese I connect with my heritage, my people, and my country.
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When I was fifteen years old I broke up with my mother. She and I both knew that I was the only person that she had in America. Her family was in Russia, she only spoke to her estranged ex-husband in court, her oldest son avoided her at all costs. Moving in with my dad full time felt like I was abandoning her after tying a noose around her neck. For the first time, I had taken action. I was never again going to passively let life happen to me. During four long months of separation, I filled the space that my mom previously dominated with learning: everything and anything.
I taught myself French through online programs, built websites, and began began editing my drawings on Photoshop to sell them online. When my dad lost his third job in five years, I learned to sew my own clothes and applied my new knowledge to costume design in the Drama Department. On stage, I learned to empathize. Backstage, I worked with teams of dedicated and mutually supportive students. In our improv group, I gained the confidence to act on my instincts.
With the help of my Drama teacher, I learned to humble myself enough to ask for help. On my sixteenth birthday, I picked up the phone and dialed my mom. I waited through three agonizingly long pauses between rings. When I was 10, my dad told me that in and on my body, bacteria outnumbered human cells. For a 10 year old, this was a horrifying idea. I squeezed my forearms tightly in attempts to squish the foreigners to death. I showered in way-too-hot-for-ten-year-olds water.
I poured lemon juice all over my body. I decided then that I wanted to be a doctor and study microbiology. Over the summer, I shadowed Dr. Wong Mei Ling, a General Practitioner. I observed case after case of bacterial interactions on the human body: an inflamed crimson esophagus suffering from streptococcus, bulging flesh from a staph infection, food poisoning from e. I was her researcher, looking up new drugs or potential illnesses that cause particular symptoms.
Intrigued by the sensitive balance between the good and bad bacteria on our bodies, I changed my lifestyle after researching more about our biological processes. I viewed my cheek cells through a microscope in AP Bio, and I realized that each cell needs to be given the right nutrients.
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Learning about foods enhancing my organ functions and immune system, I now eat yogurt regularly for the daily intake of probiotics to facilitate my digestion. As a future pediatrician, I hope to teach children how to live symbiotically with bacteria instead of fearing them. I will stress the importance of achieving the right balance of good and bad microbes through healthy habits. Like a daily reminder, the minute microbes in and on me serve as a reminder of my passion for the complex but tiny foundation of life. So many of my friends had eating disorders.
Scrolling through poems written by students at my school on a poetry publishing site, I was shocked by the number of girls starving or purging in attempts to love themselves. Before finding out about their struggles, I thought I was the only girl hating my reflection. Although I initially despised working out, I left the gym feeling strong and proud of my body.
Over the first weeks, I even developed a finger-shaped bruise on my bicep as I checked it daily. I began to love exercise and wanted to share my hope with my friends. I intentionally talked about the benefits of working out. I regularly invited them to come to the HOP sessions after school.
I talked about how fun it was, while at the same time mentioning the healthy body change process. Their language changed from obsessing with size to pride in their strength. I was asked to lead classes and scoured the web for effective circuit reps. I researched modifications for injuries and the best warmups and cooldowns for workouts.
I continue to lead discussions focusing on finding confidence in our bodies and defining worth through determination and strength rather than our waists. Although today my weight is almost identical to what it was before HOP, my perspective and, perhaps more importantly, my community is different. There are fewer poems of despair, and more about identity. I have lived in the Middle East for the last 11 years of my life. But what really catches my attention are the men who wear blue jumpsuits striped with fluorescent colors, who cover their faces with scarves and sunglasses, and who look so small next to the machines they use and the skyscrapers they build.
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